Picking Up A Burden

By Remedios Dorio

 

FOR a quite of time, Lorna and Mario have the same argument, but these last few quarrels of them, she heard no more soothing voice apologizing, the voice that was trying to avert her thoughts from what she believed the agonies she’s bearing. Mario would snap at her as he was annoyed and irritated to always hear the same things she was complaining.

 

“Shut up!” Mario shouted at Lorna.

 

“You shout at me. You do not love me anymore,” Lorna said as she burst to tears.

 

Mario, for a while did not answer his wife. It was the first time he shouted to her, but it was just an impulsive reaction from him. He was so concentrated proofing his article as the deadline to submit it was less than one hour. He was a contributing journalist to the local newspaper in their place.

 

“Okay, I shouted at you, but you understand that I am busy with my work. I only have less an hour, and I must submit my article. Could you not give me space and time so that I can finish my work as soon as possible?” Mario said after a short pause.

 

Lorna said no more words. She walked away and entered their bedroom. Mario shrugged his shoulder, heaved a sigh and continued what he was doing.

 

IT WAS already evening and time for supper but Lorna did not come out the room. Mario, who was sitting in the living room, watching news on the TV just let his wife temperament.

He could not stand anymore about Lorna’s talking about the past that had happened for more than thirty-five years. Liked a broken record, Lorna talked again and again about the accident that happened to their first child.

 

The news was finished and Mario stood-up and put out the TV. He went to the kitchen and looked what he could eat, and the same as usual, he made a sandwich for himself. He knew Lorna would not come out anymore from their room until tomorrow morning.

 

Mario thought that Lorna was already sleeping when he entered their bedroom; but not, Lorna was well lying on bed but her eyes were wide opened as she stared blank on the ceiling. Mario said no words. He prepared himself to sleep. He wore his pajama and went to the comfort room annex to brush his teeth.

 

When he lied down on bed, unexpectedly, Lorna spoke to him.

 

“You used to be an understanding husband,” Lorna said.

 

“Lorna, I want to sleep,” Mario answered Lorna.

 

 “Yes, go sleep soundly because you had nothing in your conscience,” Lorna snapped at Mario.

 

“Here we are again,” Mario was frustrated. “How many times I told you to forget everything. What occupying your mind now did happen a long time ago. Our two sons are now grown-up and having their own life.”

 

“I never could forget what happened to our first born. Never!” Lorna answered Mario.

 

“Sometimes I am thinking you are becoming crazy,” Mario said to Lorna that made Lorna jerked out from lying as she abruptly sat on their bed.

 

“Me? I am becoming crazy?” Lorna was angry.

 

“If you kept talking the same thing over and over again, yes, you are becoming crazy,” Mario answered Lorna. “I could not understand why you are doing these. We have a good life. Everything in our family is okay, but you are digging the past that happened. How many times I told you, you must not blame yourself because you did nothing wrong.”

 

“I knew that I did nothing wrong but I want to know what really happened to my baby. I want to ask my parents what really had happened.”

 

“Your parents are very old already. Why you just can’t let them enjoy freely the days that they still have. Realized what would be the consequences to them, only, by asking the question you had in your mind,” Mario tried to let Lorna understand the possibility that would happen. Lorna’s parents for sure would be hurt.

 

“From the time that our first child died from falling out the balcony I already had in my mind the question why it happened,” Lorna said.

 

“You did not ask them before. Why waited more than thirty years to ask them? Why?”

 

Lorna did not answer Mario. Indeed, why she waited long to know everything what happened to her first born that was only few months old. The baby fell down from the balcony and died.  Before, she took and believed all that her parents told her. Her parents said it was an accident, so it was an accident. But now she doubted. How did the accident happen? She wanted to know.

 

Mario was right, why now. Her two sons although were not married, yet already lived on their own. Behavior of her two sons prompted her that she must ask her parents the question that she just kept by herself for a long time. Her two sons were straight forward. They dared to ask questions. Although times now were different, before, children dared not to contradict their parents. Lorna thought if her sons could do it, why she could not? She really wanted to know how the accident happened and why it happened. ****to be continued****